“The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” – Rumi
Rumi brings out a very important aspect of relationships by stating that lovers are in each other all along. A true lover ultimately experiences the highest peak where he or she becomes the love itself. When people ask me how divinity feels, I tell them to fall in love. aArelationship has the power to shift your consciousness like nothing else.
Unfortunately, the current state of relationships depicts a very different situation. Be it an intimate couple relationship, or a sibling, spouse, or even a business relationship; nothing seems to last long. Where are we going wrong? what are we missing? Although there are no golden rules for a successful relationship, here are a few ways to improve the quality of relationships.
Love is love
There is no way to define love. It is beyond the usual societal descriptions. It cannot be limited to just a set of words or a recollection of experiences. That’s what makes love so beautiful. The mysticism and madness of love is what makes it most special. Release your mind when in love. just like meditation. Simply allow the experience to happen without trying to control the outcome.
Love is forgiveness
Unconditional forgiveness is the most powerful tool you can practice in your relationships. holding onto a grudge acts like slow-killing cancer. It will drain you out and leave you with nothing but pain. Stop treating yourself as a victim and start being in the forgiveness zone. every time you feel that you are in the grip of your anger, remind yourself to forgive unconditionally. Only by forgiving unconditionally, can you set yourself and the other person free.
Love is First loving yourself
In pursuit of satisfying the perfect role in your relationships, don’t forget the most important relationship aspect: You. It happens very often that we tend to ignore ourselves during the phase of a relationship. This ignorance later on takes the form of frustration arising due to unfulfilled personal goals. hence begins a painful experience of self-neglect in the relationship. Give yourself maximum time to learn to love yourself. when you love yourself, only then you will be able to shower love on others.
Love is effortless
We cannot make love happen. just let everything go smoothly and it will happen by itself. If you need to add a lot of effort, then it is probably time for you to move on. a relationship concludes on its own when the lesson is served. You sow the right seeds, pour the right amount of water every day and take proper care of your plants every day, but they may or may not turn out to be the best plants. That is their journey. do the same in your relationships; have the right intentions, no expectations, and cultivate a feeling of giving so love will flourish on its own.
Love is unconditional
We often put conditions on our relationships, such as desiring someone who doesn’t talk too much or wanting someone who is more social. But true love doesn’t require any conditions. It is not a set of rules and requirements. These conditional contracts add a lot of frustration in relationships. every morning, the sun gives you ample amount of light without asking for anything in return. radiate your light in your relationships, without requiring anything in return.
Meditation for couples
This meditation is specially designed for couples. You may also do it by yourself. however, it will be great to practice it daily alongside your loved one.
– Light candles and incense to add a positive aroma to the environment.
– Sit across each other, acknowledging the presence of each other.
– Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes.
– Gently, bring your awareness to your heart. Feel the presence of its powerful energy. Just keep feeling the energy of it.
– After a few minutes, ask yourself, “What is the most kind and loving aspect about me?” Simply meditate upon the question. Keep yourself open to the answers.
– Next step is to visualize the face of your loved one and ask yourself, “What is the most kind and loving aspect about my significant other (or the name of your partner)?” Simply meditate upon the question. Whatever answer comes to you, let it happen.
– Now, simply meditate upon the heart and feel to the stillness within. If you feel like laughing, crying, or expressing any other emotion, do not hold yourself back. Let it flow, freely. Express your soul during these moments in meditation.
“To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.” – Kahlil Gibran
– While keeping all of your awareness on your heart, release unconditional love toward your loved one sitting across you. Send the love without any expectation in return.
– During the last two minutes of your meditation, count all your blessings and express gratitude for your relationship. Take a moment to hug each other.
Practice this meditation for at least 15 to 20 minutes every day.
Chandresh Bhardwaj is the founder of the self-realization center – Break The Norms Movement, and has launched Uncensored Spirituality Foundation. Bhardwaj is one of the youngest inspirational new age teachers and the seventh generation spiritual guide pursuing initiatives in the eastern science of healing and transformation. He conducts public talks and workshops. He is a published writer and promotes spiritual dialogue in meditation, repressed emotions, and Tantra. www.cbmeditates.com